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Paula says:
May 12, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Two things I learned going through the breakup of my marriage: 1) no one else can tell you how long it should take to get over someone, or how long it should take to be ready for someone new; 2) cold turkey can really suck, but it is the best way to keep from obsessing.
I had a divorced friend tell me that it would be six months before I would feel myself again, and he had been married twice as long as I had. For me, it was closer to 9 or 10 months instead. In terms of being ready to date again, I was in a rebound situation about two months later, which was in retrospect too soon, but it’s hard to say what the right amount should have been.
As for staying in touch, despite what my ex said when we were first splitting up, once the divorce was final, he has chosen not to be in touch at all. I’ve been able to do a bit of online sleuthing to figure out some basic details of what’s happening with him (he has moved to the opposite end of the country and is engaged), but I’m much better off when I don’t know anything about him (which I can manage for about six months at a time before I get curious again). Don’t make your friends take sides or defriend him — just tell your friend you don’t want to know anything more at this point, because it’s too upsetting.
3 Quick Ways to Create Your Own Beauty Buzz Without Make Up!
Should Women Be Sexually Aggressive?
Top Ten Guys You Should Date But Probably Didn't Notice!
Why Do Men Openly Try to Cheat Online?
How to Help Your Man Be Successful!
How to Minimize Heartbreak and Maximize Your Love Life!
How to Stop Meddling in Your Friend's Love Life!
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
Reply
Paula says:
May 12, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Two things I learned going through the breakup of my marriage: 1) no one else can tell you how long it should take to get over someone, or how long it should take to be ready for someone new; 2) cold turkey can really suck, but it is the best way to keep from obsessing.
I had a divorced friend tell me that it would be six months before I would feel myself again, and he had been married twice as long as I had. For me, it was closer to 9 or 10 months instead. In terms of being ready to date again, I was in a rebound situation about two months later, which was in retrospect too soon, but it’s hard to say what the right amount should have been.
As for staying in touch, despite what my ex said when we were first splitting up, once the divorce was final, he has chosen not to be in touch at all. I’ve been able to do a bit of online sleuthing to figure out some basic details of what’s happening with him (he has moved to the opposite end of the country and is engaged), but I’m much better off when I don’t know anything about him (which I can manage for about six months at a time before I get curious again). Don’t make your friends take sides or defriend him — just tell your friend you don’t want to know anything more at this point, because it’s too upsetting.